God, I Couldn’t Blame You by Spencer Ratcliff

Dear God, I know I’ve never been to church and never read your book
I know I never stop to pray;
never know just what to say
and really don’t deserve a second look

I frankly couldn’t blame you if you turned your ears away
But while you know of all my doubt,
I ask you please to hear me out;
give me the time of day

You see, there’s been an accident, as if you didn’t know
My little girl is almost dead;
she’s in a coma and they’ve said
they’ll tie a tag around her toe

They brought her in by chopper just after half past nine
They chalked her out upon the tar,
gave her lots of CPR
to try and keep her hanging on the line

The vicar’s been; he held my hand and quietly had a word
He told me that I must be strong,
to talk to you, admit I’m wrong
and hope my voice is heard

He placed a cross upon her brow and whispered in her ear
He spoke in Latin, shut his eyes,
talked of how a body dies,
uttered words I didn’t want to hear

She’s lying there with tubes plugged into heart and chest and head
Golden hair surrounds her face,
her favourite doll stands by in case
she stays alive instead

She’s been a little angel since the moment of her birth
She looks like Cinderella
and I really try to tell her
that I love her more than anything on earth

Oh Christ, I really need you now; my daughter’s fading fast
She’s only 12 and not to blame;
even if you leave her lame
I promise I’ll believe in you at last

Just listen to her heartbeat God, it doesn’t sound quite right
It’s skipping beats
beneath the sheets;
and no-one here believes that she’ll survive the night

The morphine drips her life away, the beeps are so intense
Cranial pressure’s 25;
at 26 she’s not alive;
Oh God why can’t this all just make some sense

As hell consumes me in the night, I clasp my hands to pray
Dear God, I promise I’ll be good;
do the things a Christian should,
please give her one more day

For Heaven’s sake she’s just a kid. You’ve angels plenty there
I know you’ve got the power to give
a little one a life to live;
Hannah is a girl that you can spare

All around me parents pace and bravely hide their fear
We swap the stories of our kids
whose eyes are rolling ‘neath the lids,
the reaper creeping near

We lost two little battlers as they soldiered into dawn
They never saw the morning light;
only ever knew a fight,
from the moment they were born

Then someone came into the room and took me by the hand
They guided me to Hannah’s bed,
told me what the good Lord said,
so I would understand

“Your little girl will be just fine,” the stranger whispered low
And as I stroked the golden hair,
I saw the stranger wasn’t there,
replaced by golden glow

Oh God how can I thank you? I’ll forever sing your praise
When I thought you didn’t care
you showed me you are always there
in all our darkest days

But while I’m deeply grateful, a sense of guilt remains
For having Hannah home so safe
while others of a stronger faith
must live with all their pains.